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"The Truth Aboot Hobbits"

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By Chibi Froddie

It's a long road yet to walk, Sam

It was once said by a great wizard that you could learn all there is to know about hobbits in one month and after 100 years, still be surprised. It is true that hobbits are surprising creatures, for like any other race, they have secrets as well. Secrets that even the wisest don't know about...

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        Beyond the rolling green hills of the shire, the harsh town of Bree and in the beautiful city of Rivendel, the Fellowship was beginning their greatest quest probably ever to face them. Frodo had been joined by his three hobbit friends, two humans, a wizard, a dwarf and an elf. Lord Elrond gazed upon them with a smile of satisfaction, and gave them the title "The Fellowship of the Ring." They decided to stay another night to get better aquatinted with one another. They sat around a large finely furnished room, with elegant decorations and a small fountain off to the side. There was no glass on the windows, so the gentle cool breeze blew in and filled the room with the accents of flowers and the forest. Pippin and Merry approached Elrond with curiosity. Almost the entire time, he had been sitting in his chair, sipping at fine elven wine. His eyes went slowly to the two hobbits before him and he raised an eyebrow. Pippin and Merry glanced at each other and then looked back to Elrond.

        

"Er...Mr. Elrond...we were wonderin aboot how old ye are." Merry said glancing nervously to Pippin.

"Yes!" Pippin chirped with a smile and a nod.

Elrond set down his glass on a small stone table beside him and leaned forward. "You're curious for being little hobbits."

"Well, not really. We're all mighty curious. But...ye see, me an Pippin 'ere are betting on your age. That's all." He crossed his arms and nodded.

"So whut is it cause he's givin me mushrooms!" Pippin beamed with a happy smile.

Elrond gave them both disapproving looks and said, "Well, I was alive 3,000 years ago when the strength of men failed...and I was not too young either." He leaned back and regarded him with his knowledgeable wise face.

"Oooo..." Merry and Pippin turned to each other with wide eyes.

"That would make him ancient, wouldn't it Merry? I wus right!"

"No! That's not an age!" Merry frowned. "I'll figure it out..." He walked off into a quiet corner.

"So...Mr. Elrond, fer bein ancient...you sure are pretty." Pippin blinked his blue eyes a few times.

Elrond stared down at him disgusted. "Thank you very much. Now...run off and play. Shoo-shoo." He waved Pippin away.

Pippin looked down and turned around to find Legolas in front of him. "Ello Mr. Legolas pretty elf!"

Legolas frowned. "Please...just Legolas."

"Ooo...o right." He smiled and looked to Frodo.

"Well, is there anything we have to know...or should know about one another?" Frodo asked quietly. A still silence followed his question.

"I like mushrooms!" Pippin chirped because the silence was beginning to bother him.

"No one touched the beard." Gimli growled as he looked around. Legolas's mouth twitched for a moment.

"And no one is to touch or hold my staff without my permission, especially lively young hobbits." Gandalf announced standing.

Aragorn looked around suddenly, feeling the need to add in something. "Well..."

Boromir stood up and looked around. "And no one is to touch my shield or sword."

"And no one touches me pots n pans..." Samwise said sternly with a nod. And then added meekly, "Unless...o course, well, Mr. Frodo says it's o right."

"And no one touches Pre...the ring." Frodo added quickly.

"Good. It has been a long day, so let us take rest now..." Aragorn began.

"But whut aboot supper?" Pippin interrupted and everyone turned to stare at him.

Aragorn let out a sigh, used to such questions now. "You've already had supper, Pippin. And what have I told you about second breakfast and supper?"

Pippin looked down meekly. "I only need one, cause o the awful situation and quest that were are going on."

"Sorry Pip." Merry said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Pippin let out a little sigh. "Don't worry...I'll see whut I can do." Pippin looked up to him with a smile.

"Well, seeing now that you can get along...I bid you all good night." Elrond said rising.

"Will you join us on this quest?" Frodo asked also standing.

"No..."

"Whut! But Mr. Elrond! We'd like ye to join us!" Pippin said quickly.

Elrond raised an eyebrow at Pippin. "As I would as well, Lord Elrond, though I know it is not possible." Legolas added.

Elrond turned to Legolas with a fond smile. "I'm afraid you are too right when you deem it impossible, young Legolas. If I were not needed here, I would join you all."

"Come now, to bed!" Aragorn said running a hand through his hair. "But first I would like to create a buddy system."

"Ah! Good idea Aragorn." Gandalf nodded with approval.

"No hobbits are to be without someone...er...taller and stronger. Boromir, you take Merry and Pippin. Legolas, you are with Gimli. And I...I am with Sam and Frodo."

"But whut aboot Gandalf?" Pippin asked tilting his head to the side.

Gandalf chuckled at little Pippin. "I look after all of you, for I am the oldest."

Merry leaned toward Pippin and whispered. "He's even older than Lord Elrond."

"From now on, you and your partners are not to be separated. You share rooms, food...and anything else you wish to share."

Gimli and Legolas exchanged disgusted glances and turned away from each other. Boromir approached Merry and Pippin and placed a hand on their shoulders. Pippin and Merry looked up at him blinking. "If this be the wish of the council..." He glanced at Aragorn. " Very well. Come along young hobbits, off to bed." He gave them a little push toward the door.

"G'night Sam and Frodo!" Pippin and Merry called together. Then, with Boromir, they disappeared out of the room.

Aragorn turned to Frodo and Sam. "Well gentlemen?" Sam smiled, took Frodo's arm to lead him out.

"We're comin. Come on Mr. Frodo, bed time. Ye need yer rest and I'll make sure you get it, or I'm not Samwise Gamgee!" Aragorn smiled slightly of amusement at how Sam treated Frodo like a little child. Sam lead him outside and Aragorn bowed to the others and left also...not to bed, however, for he had one more person to see before morning...

Gimli looked up at Legolas, who was trying to look for something to do as an excuse no to go to bed. Elrond smiled at the two and shook his head of black hair. " Young Legolas and Master Dwarf, you may retire to your room. For I am returning to mine."

Legolas looked down and quickly backed with a sense of duty he said, "Good night Lord Elrond. We shall retire to be immediately. Come...Master Dwarf." Legolas bowed to Elrond and made his way for the door while Gimli also bowed and slowly strolled out behind Legolas.

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        Boromir sat on his bed, a paper and quill in his hand, and seemed to be fast at work writing something down. After Pippin had removed his frock coat and scarf, he approached Boromir with curiosity. Boromir was oblivious to Pippin's presence, and looked up surprised when Pippin questioned what he was doing. Boromir smiled at the hobbit and set the quill down for a moment. "This, little one, is going to be my journal. I write down the day's events and add it to my book. A book, you see, if far too heavy to carry, so I simply carry paper."

        "Oooo...." Pippin stared down at the paper mystified. He knew how to read the writing of hobbits...but the writing of men was quite different. "Merry! Boromir keeps a diary! Just like Bilbo!"

        Boromir was taken by surprise by the term diary, frowned, and set the paper aside. "Journal, little one."

        "Well, that be a mighty fine secret." Merry said approaching the two with his hands in his pockets.

        "It certainly is! Almost as fine as our secret tails. " Pippin added happily. Boromir looked from Merry to Pippin with a raised eyebrow.

        "Tails?" He coughed lightly. "What tails do you speak of?" He leaned back and gave them his full attention.

        Merry and Pippin exchanged secretive looks and stepped away from him for a moment. He watched as they whispered to one another while glancing at him every so often. Finally, they come to an agreement and stepped forward again. "Well, it's like this Mr. Boromir..." Merry paused and looked a Pippin for a moment and then turned back to Boromir. "All hobbits have tails."

        "Little fuzzy ones right on our bottoms!" Pippin said pointing to his butt with a grin.

        "Yep...that aboot sums it up." Merry said crossing his arms and smiling proudly.

        Boromir looked speechlessly from Merry to Pippin and shook his head in disbelief. After a few moments he managed to mutter. "Tails..."

        "That's whut we said." Merry nodded.

        "Would ye like to see one?" Pippin asked, his grin growing wider.

        "NO! No...that's...all right." Boromir blinked at them. "I'll just...go back to writing in my diar...journal." He turned away quickly, blinked at the paper for a moment, then picked up the quill and pretended to be consumed with what he was doing.

        Pippin looked at Merry and Merry shrugged and turned away to walk to his bed. Pippin stayed for a few moments to watch Boromir, but got very tired in the process and turned away also to go to bed. Boromir glanced at them again, shook his head once more in disbelief and began to write:

     "Finding out a hobbit has the one ring was surprising, but
      discovering they have fuzzy tails is even more surprising, and very
      disturbing. This is information I did not want to know...Perhaps I shall 
      go over it with Gandalf in the morning. I do hope the rest of my
      companions do not have secrets that are this disturbing..."

        Boromir set the paper down and stared at it for a while, going over the day's events and trying to put together pieces. He glanced at the hobbits; Merry up and looking out the window while Pippin peacefully asleep in his bed...drowning in the over sized blankets. He smiled to himself now and laid down, his eyes focused to the ceiling with mild interest. The thoughts in his mind went from hobbit tails to the quest they had to face in the morning. And in this way he fell into a deep sleep.
 
 

Oh do you know the muffin man, the muffin man...

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